Born again !!
Growing up with Little S was such a wonderful and exciting journey physically, mentally and spiritually. Our everyday joys, laughters, tears, learnings….
Running away to my friend Krithikas place in Dallas when hurricane hit houston in 2008, moving to India in Oct 2008, Celebrating Little S’s First Diwali and then his first birthday with family , Moving to Hoffman Estates in Illinois….Oh my God 2 years just flew by.
It was Navarathri of 2010, that is when we realized that we were pregnant again. We were thrilled. Though S accompanied us to all our doctor visits and scans, we did not really discuss with him about the baby, for we knew he would want the baby to come out NOW 🙂 A two year old lives only in NOW. Once the tummy grew to good size, we had to reveal more information to the curious toddler. He was super thrilled. He would put his ears on my tummy to listen to the baby, talk and sing to the baby. He would be joyous watching the baby in the scan. S declared to everyone that his little brother would be named “Baby K Vickneswaran” when he was born.
In April 2011, we had a wonderful baby shower at home. A perfect fusion of Indian and American style baby shower. Our neighbour Karthik’s mother started the function with song and aarthi. We had the vazhaikappu with glass bangles sent with love by my parents. Our American friends thoroughly enjoyed being a part of the ceremony as we explained the customs and rituals as far as we knew about why we do them. We had ordered a wonderful spread of south indian mixed rice like mango rice, lemon rice, coconut rice, sweet pongal etc, while my American friends had got another wonderful spread of really nice dishes including salads, casseroles, bacalava. It was an awesome lunch. My dear friend Elisa Kraus organized a great number of games. Wow what fun we had that day!! Ladies day out 🙂
Days quickly flew away. As the delivery date neared, I started thinking about VBAC. YEs I really wanted to try out VBAC for delivery but my doctor Dr.Merchant was totally against it , as my first delivery was a C-section and the baby inside was also a big and tall baby. That reminded me of the joke that my doctor at houston cracked when I had to deliver S in a C section delivery ” This baby was big for your physique, you should have thought about such issues before marrying such a tall man :P”
Anyway I tried convincing her several time but she just did not want to take the risk. I did not have other options due to distance of other hospitals from home and other practical issues. Around 36th week of my pregnancy, for the first time in my life I felt the contraction. Wooh what a feeling it was!! We really got worried for it was just 36th week. WE immediately rushed to the hospital. They monitored and found that the contractions were getting stronger and more frequent. We were in great tension. I was sent to emergency. I was put on salline drip for dehydration. We stayed in the hospital till 1 am. Poor S slept sitting in his dads lap. Though painful , such situations are which make the family come closer and bond stronger.
The doctor advised drinking fluids like mad and taking loads of rest to keep the bun in the oven for another 3 weeks. My husband worked from home. I drank litres and litres of water and read loads of book to S on bringing baby home. Successfully we cud keep the bun in the oven till 39 weeks. My mom came to help me out. My C-section delivery was scheduled for June 24 2011.
Trust me the only thoughts in my mind were about how Shivesh will be when Vicky and I were in operation theatre. He was not used to being with my mom as he was in the USA and she in India. Our friends Baranipriya and Nadarajan came to our rescue. They were S’s great friends and hence Barani said she will stay with my mom and S at the hospital. I was overwhelmed with gratitude, for this was a prayer answered which solved so many heartaches. If I stepped into the operation theatre a little relieved, I owe it big time to Barani 🙂
At 11:22 am CST, another baby crossed the rainbow bridge to brighten our lives and fill it with oohs and aahs. I was born again as a Mother of two lil boys. He surprised Vicky and me. yes because he looked exactly like how S looked when he was born and he weighed exactly the same weight :O They were like twins born 3 years apart. I was taken to the private room after the surgery for recovery and Little V was taken to the nursery.
I was adamant that I would breastfeed him and not let him have formula. The nurses brought him to me, but unfortunately i started puking heavily due to the side effects of the anasthetic 🙁 His first feed was a formula. I felt disappointed a bit but then I gathered up all my energy and made sure he was breastfed from the next feed. V breastfed like a champ from the very first time. The beautiful bond blossomed.
Vicky had to go home to sleep with Little S and I did not want Amma to struggle in the hospital during nights, going up and down to use restrooms and cafeteria etc. Those three nights in the hospital when Little V and I stayed and struggled all by ourselves were precious. I would hold him in my lap as long as I could and only give him to the nurse for a couple of hours so that i could catch some sleep. Those Little V and I moments were so so precious that I still have them framed in my heart in gold. Those days are the ones which showed me the immense strength motherhood can give a woman. In spite of the pain, bleeding and weakness after the surgery, I handled all his needs and mine all alone even though I was completely sleep deprived. Still looks like a miracle to me. I am sure all our lives are filled with such Miracles. HE did not feel separate from me and neither did I feel he was separate from me 🙂
On June 24 2014, my little V turned 3. No more a baby but still loves to pretend as a baby. His talks, hugs, smiles, kisses, stories, experiments, tears, rolls, jumps, fights, laughters, giggles, tantrums just make me thank the Universe every single day. Right now thoroughly enjoying his speech explosion, his wonderful substitution of certain syllables in his speech and his dramatic expressions. HE paints our days bright with his sunshine laughter and toady jumps 🙂 HE is our little pooh bear making our days as sweet as honey.
Yes, children are the indication that GOD still has some hope left in this world 🙂 They are our messengers from GOD, we just need to slow down to read the messages. That will save the world.