Stepping into Motherhood….

I have been wanting to resume blogging for a long time now, but something or the other came as a hurdle. When I sat down, there was a challenge, there were dozen topics whirling in my mind which one should I write first? This blog being a record of our journey into parenting, sustainable living and everything that comes along; I thought I should share our experience of entering the parenthood first.

Today is my Little S’s 6th birthday and the best time to recall all those joyous moments after six years which have flew by the fastest I guess. So here is our story…..

We were in Houston, Texas, when we got pregnant with our first child. We still remember clearly the excitement and happiness, we shared, when the doctor confirmed the pregnancy. When a pure spirit from the heaven chooses you for its guardian angel, there is a soulful dance that happens inside, the happiness that this dance generates is truly an out of the world experience. I am not sure I can do justice describing that joy in words.

This little life inside had already started changing our lives; right from the way we looked at food, entertainment or even the cleaners at home. This was the first step we took towards “Organic” and Green living.

The first trimester was filled with hatred for anything Oniony, nausea, tiredness and other joys that pregnancy brings along. You get to make your hubby work more at home 😉 You get treated like a princess at work place, what more could I have asked for. Even in elevators people stopped discussing super bowl or cricket when you step in and inquired about your health instead, wow what a feeling J

The second trimester was indeed the golden trimester for I could eat Onion oothappams with onion chutney again with no nausea. Plus I could feel the butterfly kicks followed by strong kicks from the baby. Trust me guys, I feel really sorry that men cannot experience this most beautiful kick, a life stirring inside. Two hearts beating inside me was a joy enough to give me that Extra Pregnancy Glow. The doctor confirmed that we were having a BOY baby.

The third trimester, I am not sure if the tiredness and sleeplessness bothered us more or the wait to the see the baby’s face… The greatest artist in the world was at work and we don’t get to see his art until he decides to show it, at the right moment. I was huge and my face lost the glow and beauty and indeed I was the center of attraction for the toddlers and preschoolers around. Some of them had this “how did you gobble the baby whole?” kind of look in their eyes while others wanted to touch the huge tummy.

I took off from work a month earlier just because I wanted to enjoy the “ME time” at least for a month before the baby was born. One of the wisest decisions we ever took 🙂 I would surprise DH with my cooking skills every day from breakfast to dinner. We spent a lot of relaxed days, chatting and watching carefully chosen comedies while I crocheted bibs and blankets for the baby. Crocheting for the baby, Singing to the baby and talking to the baby were extremely healing, yes we bonded even more. The happiness on DH’s face when he felt the baby’s kick on his palm placed on my tummy, Priceless.

I had completed 39 weeks of my pregnancy, the water broke and I was rushed to the hospital. We waited for hours but I dint have contractions. The baby had not moved down either, but the water turned green. It meant the baby was under stress and pooping already. So we had to go for a C-section.


Anxious and worried ofcourse

13:31 the whole operation theater was buzzing with excitement as the little baby announced his entry into this world crossing the Rainbow Bridge, by crying his heart out. His intentions were clearly to stay inside, for he had not turned or moved down for a natural birth and Dr.Schnieder had screwed his plans and pulled him out.

Little S was born as a healthy and tall baby. Little did we know our lives where going to change beyond what we had imagined. Yes, they are so little yet so BIG.

This was indeed the most unforgettable moment in our lives. The baby was wrapped and laid on my chest. The other half of my body was still under surgical scissors and needles but I was only worried about this little boy’s well being. My very first experience of total selflessness and it was so overwhelmingly emotional. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I kissed my little baby with bursting love that knew no bounds. The nurses decided to take him to the nursery for his first bath. After the surgery I was taken to recovery room. The nurses kept checking my vitals but all my mind could think was to see our precious angel again. I was totally mesmerized by the innocent and precious baby that came out of my womb.

Proud Grandparents

Proud Grandparents

Trust me there was not even a little regret or feeling of failure that I had a C-section delivery. For we were happy that our boy was safe and cooing his lungs out.  WE knew whatever happened, happened for the best. We knew that GOD helped us take the best decision.

Remember C-section moms out there, if you had to make the choice due to an emergency or health issues, it does not make you any less of a woman or a failure mom. Do not believe that you are failure even if the whole world says so.

A C-section recovery is far more painful and stressful, and you bear all of that for your baby’s sake for weeks, so how can you fail as a mom? Trust GOD, Trust your motherly instincts, and Trust your child… for they will stay with you in every step you take as a parent. This has been the guiding formula for our parenting for the last Six years..

Can’t believe Little S turned six today. Just as we sang the beautiful waldorf birthday verse yesterday night at bedtime

When I have said my evening prayer, And my clothes are folded on the chair,

And father switches off the light, I’ll still be five years old tonight.

But from the very break of day, Before the children rise and play,

Before the darkness turns to gold, Tomorrow, I’ll be six years old.

Six kisses when I wake, Six candles on my cake….

Little S was grinning ear to ear, while this over emotional mama had tears trickling down her cheeks, breezing through the transformational journey that my child has taken us through in the last six years. Extremely grateful to the Universe for this journey under the guidance two most wonderful souls – Our Sons.

One comment

  • Comments from Facebook
    Priya Desikan: You write so well Koki…..very moving!

    Muthulakshmi Vallinayagam: nicely written Koki… Very touchy indeed!! Looking forward to read more in this blog…

    Deepa Duraiswamy Loved it! Keep writing koki! And belated birthday wishes to little S

    Krithika Ramadoss Belated birthday wishes to Shivesh

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